My Raw Birth Story

April 19, 2013

So when Ellery was born I wrote our birth story. I read it probably once a month and it is very accurate. I still feel mostly that way about how it happened, but recently I have felt the need to write down the real raw story of how our Ellery came into the world. I’m writing this for me and I’m writing it for her and I’m writing it to never forget, but please don’t feel obligated to read it. Although you are more than welcome to.

My labor was done to me, it didn’t happen. I can no longer watch torture scenes in movies or television shows because it reminds me of my birth experience. The nurses came in every 30 minutes on the dot to increase the pitocin and near the end I would beg them to give me just 5 more minutes. They always said no, “I had to keep on track” and within a minute or two my contractions would get more severe, it especially stunk that the pitocin did just about nothing for my dilation so it was completely pointless.

I will likely never again get an epidural. Not because it wasn’t the most magical drug ever because it.was.magical. But because if by chance I have to have another c-section after laboring all day long I want a spinal, getting a c-section with an epidural was absolutely terrible. Here are the gory details of this hour in our life.

The doctor came in and told me it was time for a c-section, it was around 2 o’clock the morning of Ellery’s birthday. I signed some paperwork, she went over the risks and we were off. They wheeled me into the c-section room down the hall and assured me they would get Andrew before we began. I was glad I had previously had surgeries because I don’t remember feeling scared. Once I was in there a team of people hoisted my dead weight body from one bed to the other. I remember feeling extremely awkward and very heavy. I thought I was mentally prepared for a c-section, I had seen them on television, but somehow missed two details. The first was they strap your arms down at the wrists like you are on a cross. The second was how close the curtain is to your face. Like suffocatingly close. I vaguely remember asking if they had to strap my arms like that and he said yes in case I needed an IV or something. Looking back I would have preferred to have no curtain at all, I would have really liked to have seen my doctor, but maybe the blood would have freaked me out, I don’t know. There were 15 people in the room, some dressed in plain old street clothes, not sure how that was sterile. I knew there were a lot, Andrew told me later 15.

They started cutting me open, as they are cutting the anesthesiologist starts asking who is going to “get the dad” someone says I’ll go in a minute and he said, someone needs to get him NOW! I remember starting to panic at this point. I knew I was cut open and facing the door so Andrew would see my cut open bleeding belly when he came through the door. My husband passes out nearly every time he gives blood so I completely expected him to hit the floor when he walked in, luckily he did not, he did however see my cut open belly, yikes! How did I know that I was being cut open? I felt it, not pressure like people talk about, but pain and felt every bit of the cutting on my right side. I had a friend that communicated her pain to the doctor and they knocked her out so I decided to very calmly let them know I was in pain. Every minute I would calmly say, “I have pain on my right side,” he would put more meds in my drip, and this continued for a bit until I gave up. I was so determined to see her that I didn’t really care if I could feel the pain of her cutting me open. I was secretly panicking, but didn’t want to say anything for fear of not seeing Ellery in her first moments. Andrew was nowhere near me (or that’s how it felt) and he was too tired to talk to me. Luckily the anesthesiologist sat right next to me and did his best to distract me and keep me calm.

Here she comes…I again expected pressure, um not so much. I screamed the whole time they were pulling her out and the doctor kept saying breath like it’s a contraction. They were pulling, I was screaming, and finally she was out. My OBGYN came around the curtain holding my sweet girl, in a childish voice she said,”here’s your baby” and then she was whisked away. After they did her tests and weighed her Andrew held her and I caught my first glimpse of her, I remember saying,”oh my goodness, she’s so precious.” And then they essentially put me to sleep. The doctor pumped me so full of Benadryl that I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I think he did this because he knew I was in pain, but maybe this is standard. Then I woke up on and off and would say,”I have to nurse my baby.” It amazes me that motherly instinct is that strong. I probably couldn’t have told you my name at that point, but I knew my baby needed to eat. After I did this several times my OBGYN leaned over the curtain, looked me in my eyes and said,”Laura you can’t nurse your baby right now, your job is to sleep. Your baby needs to breathe better before she can eat, you will nurse her as soon as she can.” It didn’t register with me that something was wrong with Elle, she was having breathing problems, a c-section complication, so I was pretty mad that I couldn’t feed her because our agreement was within the 1st hour I got to nurse.

It was time to go back to the room, hospital policy says only staff can carry babies in the hallways, so Andrew couldn’t carry her. My doctor asked if I wanted to hold her back to the room since I was being wheeled and I sadly told her I couldn’t because my arms weren’t working. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep in the 30 feet from the operating room to my room, I would have likely dropped her. Then they started working on Elle to clear her lungs, they did a chest x-ray and had her on oxygen, I would wake up periodically and ask Andrew to show me a picture of her because she was too far away to see. Then I came up with a plan. I told Andrew to go get some ice and shove as much in my mouth as possible. I wanted to nurse her so bad and I wanted to be alert enough to hold her. This didn’t really work like I had hoped and I continued to be extremely out of it. I remember at 4:30 the medical staff had cleared out and Ellery was left alone with us in her warming bed hooked up to stuff and had oxygen in her nose. My OBGYN came in and I asked if my family who was STILL in the waiting room could come see her. She said yes if I was sure I wanted people to come in, I said “of course” considering they had been there since noon the previous day and were waiting to see our sweetie. I vaguely remember them coming in, no one could hold Ellery because of all her tubes, so they saw her and told me they’d be back after they got a little sleep. I soon held Ellery for a few minutes with the assistance of our nurse, but after a few minutes my arms stopped working again and I had to put her back in her warm bed. Then I fell asleep holding her sweet little foot and every time she cried I would wake up, say “mommy’s here” and she would immediately settle down.

Looking back I feel like I was robbed. At the time I felt rescued. Time gives clarity, I’ve processed this for nearly nine months, and now it’s time to heal. I still love and respect my doctor, I still have no regrets about the day of the actual birth (we really did do everything we could), I don’t feel like a c-section hurt my bond with my child in anyway what so ever, and even though it wasn’t in my time frame I still got to nurse and she never had formula. I still got a beautiful, healthy, awesome kid out of the whole ordeal and I’d do it all over again for her without a second thought. Now I’m on a quest for an awesome OBGYN in our new town who will help me VBAC with our future babies or baby…one at a time.



1 Down

November 20, 2012

51 to go. That’s what I said when I finished my first week of nursing. I hated breast feeding in the beginning. The thought of sticking it out for an entire year made me sick. Now I’m dreading dropping the twilight feeding because I love it so much and I will likely be a one of “those people” that cry when we give this whole thing up. So I have a long list of tips and encouragement that I compiled over the first 3 months and would love to share it with anyone who is interested. I decided not to post it on here because I do have some male readers and I know it doesn’t pertain to most of you. If you’d like my nursing notes just shoot me an e-mail.

[update] my notes aren’t about scheduling or baby wise. They are more about actual nursing and how you feel and when things get better, etc.

Divine Appointment

August 15, 2012

I missed posting about my awesome weekend with my sister-in-law at the Beth Moore conference here in Austin.  We went the weekend before Ellery arrived so it kinda got put on the back burner for posting.  The weekend was so much more than just Beth speaking, God spoke to me through several people not just her.  The sessions were just what I needed to hear.  They were all about the spectrum of a cast down spirit and a spirit of ecstatic joy and how to go from one end of the spectrum to the other.  Also how when you are with someone who has a cast down spirit you can’t meet them there, you have to move toward ecstatic joy in order to help them out of their funk, very sound advice for our marriage.  Those were all good things, but it wasn’t what I’ll likely remember the rest of my life.

When we first got there on Friday night a woman and her daughter sat down in front of us and she turned around immediately and asked me when I was due.  I told her August 10th, but it looked like I had pre-eclampsia and would be induced the following Friday.  She said,” I had pre-eclampsia and had my baby girl sitting right here 6 weeks early, you’ll be great, can I pray for you right now?”  I couldn’t really hear her prayer, but I definitely felt calmer with her praying for me.  Then I went to the bathroom and while I was standing in line a lady asked when I was due, I gave her the same response and she said,” I had pre-eclampsia and was induced, you’ll love being induced, you just walk in and they put the IV in and get things going.”  I had never heard anyone talk so positively about an induction and it definitely made me feel better about the whole thing.

On Saturday they had a break between sessions where the worship band played and you could go up and get prayer.  I am not someone who goes up to get prayer unless I feel like I absolutely have to.  I was feeling really emotional and overwhelmed about the whole induction/pre-eclampsia thing and the tears started running down my face.  I had this nagging in me to go get prayer and it wouldn’t go away so I made my way down to the front as the tears were blinding me.  I got up to the front and walked up to the first woman that made eye contact with me.  She asked me what was wrong and I explained my situation.  She got teary eyed and said, she had the same story and her daughter was now in her twenties.  She was so excited because they had prayed before the session that God would send people to each of them that they could relate to and pray for specific problems that they themselves had had.

Beth Moore was amazing, but of course God was so much more amazing.  I do not believe it was a coincidence that the only 3 strangers I spoke with the whole weekend all had pre-eclampsia, were induced early, and had healthy babies.  I call that a divine appointment.  It was such an encouragement and it made me really feel like God was behind this whole thing, even though in God’s perfect plan I would not have been induced He was definitely supporting me through the induction and I knew whatever happened I would be just fine.

This post is all about things I wish someone had told me about having a c-section.  However I don’t know if I would have really listened because a c-section isn’t really something you plan for.  I hope this post finds just the right people to encourage and help them recover from this surgery.

– Take the underwear, take as much of those mesh panties as you can get your hands on.  You will want NOTHING touching that incision for at least a week.  I’m on day ten and still don’t want anything touching it.  If you are grossed out by these things buy some very high waisted undies before going to the hospital so you have something to wear that doesn’t rub you the wrong way.  Another tip the nurse gave me, wear a maxi pad, soft pad side on your incision in your underwear, it gives extra cushion and makes you feel less worried about something bumping it.

– You just had major abdominal surgery.  You will hit a point when you get home, probably around day 3, that you will cry because you cannot be the mom you pictured.  This passes very quickly.  Andrew had to lift me out of bed the first 4 days and the fact that I had to be taken care of when my greatest desire was to take care of my precious little one was hard to cope with.  On the up side this surgery gave Andrew purpose and he was much more involved in the night time feedings than I ever expected.  He became a champion diaper changer from the first diaper on because I just couldn’t get up to do it.

– When the doctor tells you to take the steri-strips off at one week, TAKE THEM OFF.  I waited just one more day because they acted like they were going to curl up and fall off and I cannot even tell you how bad my body smelled.  Also as soon as you take them off, hop in the shower…trust me!

– When you leave the hospital and your belly looks EXACTLY the same as it did when you got there, don’t panic.  I literally looked the same and my stomach was just as hard as it was when I got to the hospital.  This changes rather quickly.  You are pumped with fluid and gas so the “bread dough” stomach people talk about does not apply to you.  One morning you will likely wake up and your stomach will have gone from a 9 month belly to something that resembles a 4 month tummy.  Don’t even try to wear a belly bandit until this happens, it is not worth it, belly bandit time will come soon enough.

– Stay on top of your pain meds.  I never filled the pain pills, but I did take the Ibuprofen every 6 hours.  If I missed a dose I started feeling pretty bad.  The pain pills help with nursing pain too so set a timer and take them.

– If you didn’t have cankles before, you do now.  And yowzas they are uncomfortable.  I thought mine were bad during pregnancy, I was wrong.  I am on day 10 post surgery and they just started going down.

-Last, but certainly not least.  When you are feeling discouraged that you have an incision on your stomach and you are in pain.  You don’t have stitches down under, you don’t have the roids, you have substantially lighter bleeding, and you likely won’t be peeing your pants anytime soon.  There are pros and cons to both ways of getting baby out so don’t think the grass is greener on the other side!

Oh and Remember you got one of THESE out of the whole ordeal!

Here We Go

July 19, 2012

In 6 hours we’ll be checked in and the ball will be rolling. Hard to believe the last nine months (well less than that I guess) will be ending this weekend. I haven’t enjoyed the last nine months, but I can almost guarantee you I would do it all over again if it meant I didn’t have to endure the labor, delivery, and physical aftermath of the birth. Part of me thinks that the reason I’m not dreading labor as much as I could be is because Andrew and I are looking at it as a way to “get me back.” I have very much not felt like myself at all since I got pregnant and we’re hoping that when I heal I’ll be back to having the personality I had prior to pregnancy. I’m less nervous than I thought I would be, but today I had a moment where I just had this overwhelming feeling of “oh my I don’t want to do this!”

As promised here is my prayer list: DISCLAIMER: I know that some of these are “impossible,” but I figure nothing is impossible with God so if I want to ask for it then I should. Wouldn’t it be cool if His Kingdom came down in my room for our birth? So please know that you don’t have to comment and tell me that it won’t happen, I’m not going in with unrealistic expectations, I’m just going in expecting that God is bigger than this obstacle so I might as well ask for what I really want, and then I will accept whatever happens in the end!

Please pray…

-That the pill that they administer through the night will work to get my labor going and Pitocin will not be necessary.

-That I will be able to relax through the contractions so I don’t hinder the progress and it will be less painful

-That Andrew will know just what I need and how to help me. I have no idea what I want him to do so it’s hard to prepare that, but I would love for him to have a knowing of what to do.

-That I can stay focused and take one contraction at a time. Panic is something that tends to take over my body when I’m in a painful or sick situation that I feel out of control of. So this one is really about rebuking panic for me.

-That I would not have a blood pressure issue. If my blood pressure is too high I have to have an IV medication that makes you sick to your stomach, this would really stink!

-That our precious little lady would do well during this whole ordeal, that her heart rate will stay where it needs to be and that she will turn and face my back when it’s time to come out…this has been one of my fears because my mom had two of us facing the wrong direction which made our entrance into the world a little more difficult.

-That I wouldn’t tear, yes I know most people tear, I had a dream the other night that I didn’t and it made all the difference in the recovery. I’m hoping that because she’ll be a little peanut I might not. Or really that God is just THAT good to me tomorrow!

-That I would be able to have as natural a birth as possible and while you’re praying for that you might as well pray that it’s painless. I heard from a friend that her midwife prayed for a painless birth and claims that she really did have one. Pray Big Right??

I’ll leave you with this last thought. Andrew and I have been talking about what birth would have been like before Eve decided she wanted everything. I’m thinking babies were perfectly healthy and ready to come out around 3 pounds. Morning sickness didn’t exist and pregnancy lasted about half as long. When it was time to deliver your baby your water broke to warn you the babe was coming, your body would painlessly dilate to 20 cm and then you would lay down, let out one little push about the size of a sneeze and your sweet little baby would be born. Then there would be no healing afterwards…thanks Eve!

Baby Posts Taking Over

July 18, 2012

Just for this week expect lots of posts about Ellery, labor, delivery, my feelings about it all, and also expect me to be missing a little bit!  I promise once this crazy stage of my life regulates a bit I’ll be back to my regular posting of random tidbits.

For those of you who aren’t my Facebook friends I am sorry I forgot to tell you I’m having a baby on Friday.  3 weeks early to the day so technically she’ll be full term.  Yesterday I had a doctor appointment and here is what we found out.  Ellery is doing great!  She is moving around a bunch, she is heads down, her heart beat is just how it should be.  My Doctor’s words were,”Your baby is doing great, it’s you I’m worried about, but she is ready to come out.”  Her weight estimate is 6lbs 10 oz.

Here’s how I’m doing:  Physically here are the stats so if you’re weirded out by knowing my progression you’ll just want to skip down a bit.  I’ve been having some contractions, no more than maybe 6 in an hour and they are the preterm contractions.  I am 80% effaced and 1.5 centimeters.  Not real thrilled about the 1.5 centimeters, but the 80% effaced is great news.  The Doctor says this is further along than most people who are at this point.  No idea what station I’m at, I’m guessing I’m not very far along in this department because I don’t feel like she is down in there and engaged at all.

Here’s how I’m doing emotionally:  surprisingly well.  I’m shocked at how calm I’m feeling about this.    I’ve reached the point where I’m just really excited for her to be here and I’m looking forward to being done with this pregnancy.  We went to our birth class last night and watched several different people have a natural birth on video.  This was pretty empowering because even though they were all in terrible pain, they were still all able to make it through and talked positively about their experience afterward.  I love that there is a plan, this makes me feel really positive, even though induction wasn’t my first choice it has been good for my mind to know when and how this is all going to begin.  Andrew and I were talking last night and we were both feeling relieved that we will not be going to the hospital with false alarms.  I’m also really glad I’m being induced so I can stop worrying about the symptoms of pre-eclampsia.  Like today I got a headache and then watched the clock knowing if it persisted too long I would have to go to the hospital.  When I have pains in my stomach I have to decide whether or not it’s the kind I’m supposed to go to the hospital for or just contractions, so far they have just been contractions.  I pretty much can’t imagine going weeks like this so I’m happy that it’s only another day.

And here is how we’re going to get this show on the road.  Tomorrow night we are going in at 10 PM to get the ball rolling.  They insert a pill in my nether regions every four hours throughout the night as I attempt to sleep while my body progresses to 4 centimeters and 100% effaced.  My doctor will come see me at 6 AM to see where I’m at and if labor hasn’t begun on it’s own I’ll be started on pitocin.  I’m REALLY hoping the pitocin will not be needed, according to my doctor I have a 50/50 chance and according to the nurse I will definitely need the pitocin, I’m hoping my doctor is correct!  My doctor’s best guess is I’ll have a baby by dinner time.  I made her promise me I will be leaving the hospital this weekend with a baby and she told me there was NO WAY we would not have this baby out because medically my body can’t handle this much longer.

Last night after the tour of the hospital I felt really good.  I got to ask all my questions and they were all answered in the way I was hoping, but wasn’t planning they would be as accommodating as I had hoped.  For example, they let you push in whatever position you feel comfortable in until the doctor comes in at the end.  They also leave you alone a lot which I was really hoping for.  The only bummer is that because of my condition I have to wear monitors that prevent me from moving more than 5 feet so walking is out for me.  She did say if the baby was looking great I might be able to labor in the shower for 15 minutes or so.  We’ll see what I feel like doing when I’m actually in excruciating pain.

This post has gotten much longer than I had planned.  Tomorrow I plan to post specific things for my prayer warrior friends to be lifting us up about.  Until then I’m running off to purchase the last minute things, finish the laundry, make all the lists for my mom for when she arrives on Friday and rechecking my hospital bag because I think I’m missing some stuff!  Tomorrow I’ll try to post a picture so you can see me on my last day of pregnancy.

Friday marked one month until my due date.  I have an appointment every Friday and this week I had some surprising news.  I had been feeling kind of crappy and felt especially terrible on Friday so when I went to my appointment I felt like I was going to burst into tears.  I got on the scale and was once again shocked by the number.  Up until one month ago I had the perfect weight gain going, and then suddenly when I should be “slowing down,” bam I gain 10 pounds in one month and can’t figure out what in the world I’m doing differently that I’m gaining that much!  It had been weeks since I’ve seen my actual doctor and I was tired of the other doctors not really understanding that something was off with me.  As soon as my doctor saw me she could tell something was off.  She gave my legs one look, touched them (leaving finger indentations on them), and started asking me questions that the answers were all yes to.  Headaches, yes.  Nausea, yes.  Elevated blood pressure, yes.  And whoa nelly a 10 pound weight gain in one month, she looked at me and said,” well I can tell that’s mostly water.”

And here is why I love my doctor…in a VERY calm manner she said, “how would you feel about having some blood work done today?”  Of course my answer was sure and then she informed me I’d be peeing in a jug for 24 hours as well.  Then she relatively non-chalantly said, “We might be having a baby next Friday.”  Her explanation was these signs are your bodies way of saying it’s done being pregnant and this baby needs to come out.  So tomorrow is the day, I’ll find out by 5:00 if we’ll be meeting our little sweet pea next weekend.

Here are the positive things about this:  My doctor is on call this whole weekend so she would deliver me and do the check up and discharge.  She is my favorite doctor I’ve ever had and I would love for her to be there with me.  The other upside is I would be getting rid of this water retention and blood pressure issue.  I know I’d be trading these things for other sickness, but I would at least be able to see the end in sight!  As much as I want my little sweetie to be safe and healthy it would be pretty awesome to meet her this weekend, it’s feeling pretty real now and we have mostly everything ready and I would have 4 days to finish up.  I’m a planner so it would be pretty amazing to know that Friday was the day!

There are a lot of negatives and I’m not going to get into those thoughts and I don’t need anyone to tell me all the negatives about being induced.  I have to accept the things I cannot change.  I trust my doctor so whatever she calls and tells me tomorrow will be the news I will have to accept.  I’ll let you know as soon as I do.  So I either have a week or a month with these:

… in the history of pregnancy that is hoping to have a baby after my due date.  I know I’m crazy!!  I also know that this might change the closer I get to August 10th.  I appreciated Emily’s blog post today that was basically the girlfriends guide to labor/delivery.  You might be asking yourself, why in the World would Laura want to have this baby post due date, especially because she lives in Texas??  Here is my attempt at explaining myself.

It’s not because I’ve loved being pregnant.  If you’ve been following me for any time you know that pregnancy has been kind of a struggle for me so you would think I would want this to be over ASAP. As soon as I got pregnant I immediately thought “oh my goodness I’m having this baby August 12th.”  I’m not saying that God came down and told me this, it really just felt like the 12th from the beginning.  There is nothing super special about the 12th, it’s just another day in my book.  I am however a planner and perhaps God gave me this little insight so that I don’t feel like I’m going to panic about when she is going to come.  Until this week I actually hadn’t even considered the possibility that she might come on a different day.  My mom has kept saying what if, what if, and that’s the only reason I’ve even thought that there is a chance that she could arrive unexpectedly.  Another reason I want her to come the 12th is because our birth classes that were scheduled in JUNE were moved to July and now have been moved again and will end on August 7th.  I want to go to all of these classes to feel as prepared as possible, her coming early would probably send me into a tizzy.  My mom arrives the 9th so it would be nice if she waited until her Mema gets here.

The 12th is just two days after my due date so really I wouldn’t be waiting that long.  Come the 13th, my sweet little girl will be getting an eviction notice, I’ll be drinking castor oil, and walking all day long.  Until them I’m relaxing, kicking up my GIGANTIC feet as much as possible and planning to meet our lady on the 12th.  You can call me crazy, but I wouldn’t say it to my face, pregnancy hormones are wicked!

Welp this I know is a premature post, I’m not a parent yet and I’m SURE my opinions will change once I’ve actually become one, but I thought it would be fun to write about my thoughts on what my parenting style will be so someday I can look back, see how naive I was and laugh at myself! It seems these days there are two strong camps of parents and then some people in the middle. There is the Babywise camp: scheduled, parent led, and structured and the Attachment Parenting camp: not totally sure what this is technically characterized by, but from working with parents that do attachment parenting it seems to be about co-sleeping, having your children self ween breastfeeding and holding your child a lot. I have not read Dr. Sears’ book, so I am not claiming to be an expert by any means on attachment parenting.

I read babywise thinking it was going to be controversial, I kept reading it waiting for it to get bad, but for me it never did. That’s when I realized babywise is who I am as a person. I am a scheduler, a rules follower and my number one priority is to keep our marriage above our kid. To me, personally, babywise made complete sense, it was as if they put who I am into words and explained how I can stay true to myself as a parent. I know everyday will not be perfectly scheduled. Sometimes I will have to be flexible, kids get sick, and sometimes they just get off and I’ll have to be okay with that. Andrew and I don’t touch when we sleep, we can’t stand being touched so the thought of having a child in my bed repluses me. MAYBE I’ll feel differently when I have a kid, but I highly doubt it. Our little lady will sleep in a bassinet next to our bed for the first six weeks, but I can’t imagine her touching me in the night. I’m already trying to mentally prepare myself for nursing like 8 hours a day in the beginning, I hope I enjoy it, that’s a lot of attachment time for me!

I’ve worked with quite a few parents who do attachment parenting and when they get to their wits end because at two years old they still have never slept through the night they start doing something that looks closer to babywise, this is partially why I am planning to do babywise from the start. I have not yet met someone who does attachment parenting that is happy and rested. I’m absolutely not saying that there aren’t happy AP parents, I just haven’t spent time with any. I don’t think attachment parenting is bad, it’s just not me. I was recently talking to an AP mom when it clicked with me. As a parent the best thing you can do is stay true to yourself! If you are someone that is scheduled, attachment parenting isn’t for you and if you are way more relaxed and want your child to go with the flow more and you want to snuggle your bundle a lot then maybe AP is your thing.

Bottomline: I think it’s important to decide how you are going to parent and then own your choice. There is no need to defend it, just be yourself and love your kid!!!!

I’ll attempt to update this in about 6 months or less when I’m fully into the whole parenting thing and let you know how it’s going and how much I’ve strayed from my orignal plan. Parenting has to be flexible and I’m not really flexible, I hope I can do this whole motherhood thing, it’s pretty intimidating!

Thank You

June 25, 2012

Thank you to the person who didn’t know me at church last week who turned around, saw I was pregnant, and told me how wonderful parenthood is.  No one says positive things to pregnant women about parenthood.  Typically people say really negative things, either birth horror stories or tell me how children will change your life forever and they don’t typically mean it in a nice way.  Everyone asks if you are ready to have a kid, um that’s impossible, and I don’t know how to respond to that.  So thank you for telling me about how fun being a mom is and how your life will change, but it really is awesome. I needed that encouragement because to be honest Andrew and I look at each other every few days and ask, “what are we doing???”

Thank you to the doctor that saw me on Friday and asked me what our little girls name is.  You acknowledged that she’s a person and you even asked how to spell it and wrote it on top of my chart.  You are the first doctor to ask me and I just appreciated it!

Thank you to KA for reconnecting with me and encouraging me about natural birth.  It’s so nice to be in contact with you and I look forward to our long distance friendship!

Thank you to LJ for the nursing e-mail, this whole thing is just so overwhelming and I’m glad you reached out and gave me some tips.

And No Thanks to the cashier who told me you thought I could have had the baby while waiting for the person in front of me to check out.  When I informed you that I still had seven weeks to go you commented that it didn’t look like I had that long…who says that??

Oh pregnancy, how I won’t miss you 🙂