I Needed That

December 12, 2012

I’ve written about this before, but it’s been a long time so this first part may be a repeat for some of you. I’m a rule follower. If there isn’t a rule for something I create one. I like boundaries, I function very well within them. I have always enjoyed this about myself, but the older I get the more I am seeing this just might be a flaw. I live my life in black and white, my husband’s entire life is gray. You can imagine the kinds of “heated discussions” we’ve had over the last 5 years. Enter baby Ellery, talk about a game changer. I still think kids need boundaries, and you will never convince me otherwise so don’t even try. However, I am finding that sometimes my “rules” are completely lost on her. Take sleeping for example. Doctor says always put your baby on their back to sleep. She sleeps through the night every night on her back. Put her on her back for a nap and you’re lucky if she sleeps for 20 minutes. Yep, I’m just as puzzled as you are. Guess what, my little lady sleeps all three of her hour and a half naps on her tummy. This was super hard for me because it was breaking a rule that is supposed to insure the safety of my sleeping infant. After a week of her not sleeping I bent the rule and we are all so much happier!

Tonight after caving and giving her Tylenol after she cried most of the day and slept about half of her naps I felt really guilty. I never wanted to give my babies medicine. I don’t take medicine unless I am really sick so I figured I’d be the same way with my kids. Then your sweet baby looks at you through tear filled eyes and you realize she has no choice. She can’t ask for the medicine and likely she would beg you for it if she could. Right after I gave it to her I saw THIS article via Emily and I felt so much better. (Warning there is some profanity in the article.) I am never going to be the mother people think I should be. But as I’ve said before and will say again and again, I’m doing my best and that’s all I can do.

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