Throw Your Hands Up In the Air

September 12, 2011

Do you remember that Destiny’s Child Song, “All the Women Who’re Independent throw your hands up in the air”?  Well as of about 4 years ago I would not have been able to raise my hands.  I would say I was one of the most dependent people I know.  I was dependent on my parents for all the basic financial life necessities.  I had just learned how to cook a meal, do a load of laundry and keep my room clean (I was a junior in college when I figured out these skills after calling different friends to ask things like how do you wash a load of jeans and how do you heat a can of green beans?)  I lived my life dependent on other people to meet not only my life needs, but my emotional needs as well.  I thought it was everyone’s job to make sure I felt good about myself.  Also it was other people who were responsible for shaping me into the person I would become.  I took little responsibility for myself and had every intention of marrying someone who would fill all my needs and someone who I could be completely dependent on.

Enter Andrew Campbell.  I thought yes! , he is my knight in shining armor here to rescue me from a life where I would have to be independent!  Boy was I ever wrong.  I learned quickly that Andrew wanted to marry an independent woman, someone who wanted him, but didn’t need him.  He wanted someone who would be his team mate, make decisions with him, and be okay alone sometimes.  I decided I wanted him bad enough and I would change my dependent ways in order to be with him.  I know some of you are thinking…wait a second, you should never change for someone!  I agree with this to a point, but on the other hand the things he wanted were really things that I needed to do anyway.  All he wanted was for Laura Russell to take a big girl pill and become an adult before getting married.

So here we are over four years later and I am so thankful he pushed me to become independent.  The job Andrew has now is a traveling job where he is gone about a week a month, this month 10 days (it’s a work/pleasure trip).  The old me would have crumbled, cried at night and been an absolute wreck.  The current me is content, meeting with girlfriends, watching cheesy television shows, spending time with H, and when I get a little lonely or spooked I find it’s totally okay to be dependent.  I lay in bed and just pray until I fall asleep.  I’m not going to lie, I still call someone and have them on the phone when I walk into my dark house and I check my closets and behind my shower curtain, but for the most part I’m throwing my hands up in the air 🙂

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One Response to “Throw Your Hands Up In the Air”

  1. Corey said

    Love this post. 🙂

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