Get Over It

That’s what I’ve been telling myself to do for the last 16 hours.  Last night I went to the grocery store and I happened to end up in a line with a checker who had a stick shoved up her fill in the blank.  I mustered up the energy to be friendly because I was tired and hadn’t been home in over 12 hours.  She made a snarky comment to me so then I kept my mouth shut.  Then as she’s scanning my produce she purposely with force ripped open my bag of oranges and had them tumble down the conveyor belt resulting in my getting home with one less than I paid for.  I wasn’t mad about the lost .20 I was ticked that she purposely ripped my bag open so they would go everywhere.  I almost was blunt and asked her why she would do that, but it wasn’t worth the energy of fighting with her.  I don’t know why it upset me so bad, I guess I just felt blatantly disrespected.

Today I headed over to LBB and got over it pretty quickly.  Her cancer story is amazing and if you click on the video of her daughter shaving her head you will surely need tissues, I sobbed.

He Gives and Takes Away

This past week we sang the song Blessed Be Your Name at church. Old song, great lyrics, and definitely tear inducing for me right now. We got to the part that says “You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name.” That’s when it hit me, yeah life isn’t fair, buck up and get over it! I never thought much about this line of the song, past the fact that life doesn’t always seem fair, yeah God gives you some things and he takes some things away. This particular Sunday it meant something a little different for me. I realized sometimes He GIVES you something and then he TAKES that thing away much faster than you would ever expect.

I’ve been wrestling for OVER A YEAR with why God would give us the vision, excitement, willingness, and ability to plant a church with an amazing group of people in Peoria and then he would take away that opportunity. I still don’t know. I may never know. We thought we would get to Austin and have this epiphany, “oh THIS is why you wanted us here.” So far we haven’t even caught a glimpse of why we are here and some days we are left feeling more lost than ever.

It’s a new year, we are starting over again, like almost from scratch. Ok that’s a bit of an exaggeration, we are starting from scratch in the realm of seeking out what God wants for us here, where we are supposed to be worshiping, where we are supposed to be serving, what God deems as important in our lives and what we need to get rid of.

SO thankful he doesn’t make us go it alone, he gave us a handful of amazing people here that have helped us process our thoughts and feelings. That have been there for us, included us and helped us when we needed it. So if you are reading this, you know who you are, THANK YOU!

Yeah he does give and then take away and I am CHOOSING to love honor and worship Him through it all.

If you are unfamiliar with the song or just want to take a listen CLICK HERE

Texas Fall

It’s a joke…seriously.  They were talking about fall temps on the television the other day and the high for the day was 91.  I don’t mean to complain, but I have a fall birthday…less than one week from now, and I tend to like it to be a crisp 60 degrees, the projected high on my birthday is 88 degrees.  That is actually the coolest temp in the 10 day forecast so I can’t really complain about that.  88 degrees is kind of like 60 degrees for us now.  I know that sounds CRAZY and for those of you who know me you will almost not believe me when I say I wore a sweatshirt and jeans to the Friday night football game and it was 88 degrees and there were times when the wind blew and I HAD CHILLS.  Yep our blood has thinned apparently or at least that’s what people tell us.  I must say there have been mornings where it’s been in the 60s and I’ve opened the windows of the house, lit a fall smelling candle and have actually felt pretty good about living here and that we will have a fall and then there are days like today when it’s over 100 degrees when I think fall will never come.  I’ve heard that fall is an overnight occurrence where we’ll wake up one morning it’ll be in the 50s and all the leaves will have fallen off the trees.  Next year we will need to plan a trip home (to either home) and experience the beauty of a crisp day and beautifully colored trees. Although outside it’s still summer I’ve managed to make our home on the inside feel like fall, I’ll try to post some of the things I’ve done to make our house a little more festive.  And to all of you who live in a climate that has a true fall, soak it up and send it down here!!!

Preparing for the Worst…

Hoping for the best.  Last night we went to the library and on our way saw a fresh fire burning in Cedar Park.  When we got home I frantically searched the internet to find the location of the blaze and it was a few miles from our house at an apartment complex.  No one knows how half of the fires burning were started so we realized our neighborhood could literally be next!  So we got our fire safe box out, loaded it with my grandmother’s jewelry, wedding photo CD, and our important documents and then took pictures of just about everything we own.  Opened all our cabinets and took pictures of all of that too.  There are some things that are irreplaceable that don’t fit in our little box that I will just have to get over if we were to someday lose everything.  Most things I have no sentimental attachment to, for those of you who know me well I attempted to sell most of our possessions and start over when we got here.  Andrew and I compromised and we got rid of some, but not all.  The saddest thing to lose is a tie between my Grandparent’s fiestaware and the English corner cupboard, or actually maybe the upholstered Chip and Dale chair.  Taking stock of everything in your home is a daunting task, but in light of this weeks events I think it’s a necessary one.  It sounds like a time waste, however I know in the end if something were to happen it would actually be a huge time saver.  It’s strange how events like this can really put your stuff in perspective, there are very few material possessions that I would try to save, stuff is replaceable and pretty unimportant.

Over 600 homes have been destroyed in our area so far and the fires are still not contained.  Please shoot up some prayers for the firefighters and for all the people who have lost everything and will have to begin to rebuild.  Also that it would rain here and that the fires would be extinguished today before the wind picks back up tomorrow!

Dread

Do you ever dread something so bad that when it finally happens it’s not nearly as bad as you anticipated?  That’s been my/our life the past few weeks.  A lot of the time it’s over silly little things here are some things I’ve dreaded:

1.  I HATE calling to get things fixed on a credit card bill, order something, trouble shoot a website, etc.  Recently every time I’ve called anyone for assistance they’ve been helpful and nice about helping me….well all but 2 people yesterday, but that’s a whole other post.

2. I had an issue with being able to charge a credit card for a Thirty-One party and I was dreading calling someone to say their credit card was declined.  I figured it was my error that I hadn’t written something down correctly, but I just felt stupid admitting that, so I put off calling for a day.  Tonight I bit the bullet and called and sure enough I had the wrong expiration date…it was such an easy fix and the customer was so nice about it that I felt silly for even thinking twice about it.

3.  I have been dreading work lately, it seems like every time I go in it’s better than expected and I leave thinking…hmm for work that’s not such a bad gig.

4.  We have been anxiously awaiting news about Andrew’s job and I’ve played out the worst case scenarios in my head.  Especially the worst case scenario if he didn’t get the job.  When we found out today that they offered the position to someone else, surprisingly Andrew and I are doing OK.  I mean sure we wanted this job so bad, but after 10 weeks of processing we are relieved to have an answer and are reminded that God is So GOOD.  His timing is perfect.  One way I know this is that this morning my mentor friend casually asked if I could go to lunch today and I said “eh I dunno I’m really busy”, she pushed a little more and I figured out a way to make it work.  On my way to lunch Andrew called me to tell me the news.  I spent the next 2 hours processing the news and trying to navigate the next step.  I’m so thankful that He planned my day knowing exactly what I needed even if I didn’t know what I needed.

I will say I am dreading the next step in the process, at this point we don’t even know what it is.  But just as most things turn out so much better than you expect I hope that this follows suit.  We appreciate your prayers as we try to figure out what in the world God wants for us!  We are willing and open to do whatever.

Blek

That’s how I feel right now.  The biggest bummer about that is I have no reason to feel like crap, and yet I do.  I’ve been wanting to post a lot of different things so let the random babbling begin:

-We had a lot of fun on Andrew’s birthday.  We went out to eat and then a big group of us went to Jupiter’s 2 and played games.  Can I just say we dominated Deal or No Deal.  We had so many tickets we were able to purchase “barrel of monkeys” dinosaur version.

- Most of today was great.  I had a wonderful day at work (Bella) sales wise.  I went to my parents to get some stuff and Andrew happened to be over there, come to find out he had gone and purchased a new CD player for my car and had installed it.  So much for the “no car payment” this month, but that’s what we figured would happen, as soon as you pay off your cars you begin doing repairs and maintenance.  Then to top it all off my mom gave me an awesome surprise present.

- I’m definitely overwhelmed with life right now.  This week is going to be grossly busy.  I have wedding flowers to do, a sermon to write and preach and a joint garage sale with my mom.  I’m looking forward to the other side of next Sunday.

- I feel sad.  I don’t really know why, but today especially with all the great things that happened I know I SHOULD feel elated and I don’t.

- I led worship in “big church” tonight from keys and as of right now I must say I don’t really like it.  It’s much more nerve wracking then just singing, but I know I’m supposed to be growing and sometimes growing pains happen…this is one of them.  Despite the way I feel I do appreciate being stretched and challenged.

- I tried to freeze my tanning membership and they forgot to do it so I paid for this month and have only tanned once.  What a waste of money.  I’ll be going in this week to freeze it for the summer.

- Oddly enough, it has really bothered me the last week that I started high school 10 years ago.  Where did the time go? For some reason I feel like I’ve blinked and I fast forwarded 10 years!

- I really want to get my Thirty-One business up and running, but with my schedule for the next week I know I have to postpone it a little bit.  Luckily I have friends who are excited to host parties and I can’t wait for that to begin.

-Last, but not least, our trip to Massachusetts was great.  So great that I came home with extra baggage in the form of pounds and I’m so grossed out by that.  It’s been too hot (in my opinion) to go running so I’m not sure what my plan of attack is going to be.

Sorry to be a Negative Nancy, I’m just keeping it real.  Hope your weekend is shaping up to be lovelier than mine and I hope you all enjoy your Memorial Day…I’ll be at work (making up for lost time on vacation).

Getting Used to It

So at this point into my internship I am finally getting used to my bizarre schedule.  Andrew and I have settled into seeing each other when we can and really enjoying the time we do spend together.  We went on a date this weekend and have another planned for this coming weekend and I’m already looking forward to it.  One thing this schedule has forced us to do is mark out intentional time to hang out.  Today we had an unexpected lunch together and it was so nice to be around him for a half an hour.  This definitely isn’t what i thought life would look like at this point, but we’re settling in and getting used to it!  On a positive note I do have a more flexible schedule than most people I know so I have more alone time than the average person which has been really nice.  On Friday afternoon I went shopping and this coming Friday afternoon I’m getting my hair cut, with most jobs I wouldn’t have this luxury.

When He says no

On Saturday a dear friend of mine from high school past away.  He had been battling cancer since May 2008.  He was an incredible friend to me throughout high school.  We went to lunch almost daily senior year, had a blast in all the musicals together, and always greeted each other with cheek kisses.  He was a true gem, total gentleman and was loved by everyone who knew him.  Throughout the long battle I prayed for him constantly, at one point I found a pin with his picture on it and pinned it inside of my purse each day as a daily reminder to pray for his healing.  It’s really tough that God’s answer was no this time.  This song by Jonny Diaz has helped me cope the last few days as I’ve processed my friend’s passing.

HERE IN THIS WAITING ROOM YEARNING FOR YOU TO SAY GO
AND THOUGH I’M CONVINCED THAT A YES WOULD BE BEST
THIS TIME YOU’RE TELLING ME NO

IT’S NOT THAT I DON’T HAVE AN ANSWER
IT’S JUST NOT THE ONE THAT I’D LIKE
BUT THROUGH THIS TIME LORD I MUST KEEP IN MIND
YOU’RE ALWAYS WISER THAN I

YOU HAVE A MUCH BETTER PURPOSE
AND YOU HAVE A FAR GREATER PLAN
AND YOU HAVE A BIGGER PERSPECTIVE
CAUSE YOU HOLD THIS WORLD IN YOUR HANDS

THE THINGS THAT I SEEK ARE FROM YOU
LIKE THE STRONG HEALING TOUCH OF YOUR HAND
BUT WHEN YOU SAY NO HELP ME TRUST EVEN THOUGH
THERE’S A REASON I CAN’T UNDERSTAND

WHEN THAT MIRACLE COMES CAUSE YOUR ANSWER IS YES
I WILL PRAISE YOU FOR ALL OF MY DAYS
BUT WHEN YOUR WISDOM DECLARES THAT A NO IS BEST
I WILL PRAISE YOU JUST THE SAME

BE NICE!

Yesterday at the football game an older man came up to our seat and looked at me kinda funny.  I said, “oh do you need to get by us?”  And he rudely said,” no you’re in my seat so I guess I’ll just sit here.”  I knew we weren’t in his seat, we have season tickets and we asked the people around us if we were in the right place minutes before and they confirmed.  So I calmly pulled out my ticket and Andrew pulled out his.  We compared tickets and I realized he was one row down and one seat over.  So I politely told him this information I had discovered.  He insisted that I was wrong, that we were in the wrong row and he was VERY put off by the fact that he had to sit in the wrong seat, but whatever.  We sit in row 37 seats 8 and 9, his ticket was for rown 36 seat 10.  Hmm, the funny thing to me is that the most obvious mistake was not even brought up…the fact that he wasn’t even being rude to the person in seat 10.  He went down one row and grumpily said to the guy next to him, “what row is this?”  The man proved our point that he was indeed in the wrong row being rude to us.  Did we get an apology, nope, he did not make eye contact the rest of the game so I think he probably knew deep down that he was wrong.  I’ve never quite understood this, why do people start a conversation on a sour note?  There were many ways he could have handled this politely and AT LEAST when I was nice and respectful to him he could have reciprocated, but instead he presented himself as a grumpy old man.  I actually felt pretty sad for him the rest of the game.  He came by himself and was a grump… he must have a pretty sad life to begin a conversation the way he did.  At least we won, he livened up a bit as we marched to victory and actually threw up some high fives with the man in front of him.  Bottomline: BE NICE!

Revolutionary Road

We watched it last night and I WOULD NOT recommend it, unless of course you are looking for a depressing movie with lots of yelling! I was rather creeped out by the plot and it was nothing like what I expected. I probably should have read more about it before renting it, but I really like Kate and Leo so I thought it was a shoe in for a great movie, in my opinion it was not. Luckily we got it at a Red Box and only paid $1 for it!